I was hoping it will not be necessary for me to write this, and have been putting it off, but I cannot hide this anymore. It is like a bad dream – a horrible nightmare. Every time when I open my eyes, think normally, think realistically, I shake my head in disbelief. “It cannot be true!”
As a once proud citizen of the Republic of South Africa, I was (most of the time) satisfied with my country’s performances nationally and internationally.
I was always aware of my country’s limitations as an African country with many obstacles and frustrations, and because of that knowledge, I didn’t expect too much of our country.
Compared to other first world, western countries, South Africa as an African country did not do too badly at all. We are a country with a very small european population who, in a very short period, managed to create an infrastructure in a previously empty untamed land that could compare with countries like Australia and Canada.
In the past, when I listened to the news on radio or television, or read the news in newspapers and magazines, I used to evaluate it in the same way that I did it my whole life.
I knew the faces of most politicians and other famous people who regularly appeared in the news. I knew more or less what it was all about as I was a person who liked to follow the current affairs and news every day.
When I was busy with something else on the one hand, and listening to the news on the other hand, I could see the face of the person concerned in my minds eye.
When the news was about a certain General in the Defense Force, or a high ranking officer in the Police Force, I could see them in my imagination.
And when it was some well known South African who often appeared on television, I could see his or her face in my imagination. I could even see the work that person was doing for a living.
I am now struggling with shock these days, as there is a big change in my life. A big change that might be for ever. A change of my appreciation of things and complete change in my perception and thoughts.
That old feeling of patriotism – to be a proud South African – is gone!
When my thoughts are divided, and I listen to the news with one ear and I hear the word “Doctor”, or “General”, or “Professor”, or title of some high profile person, then, for a moment I see (in my imagination) a white face, as that is what I was used to all my life from following the channels used by and for my people.
And when I turn my eyes to the screen and I see a black face, I realise: “Listen, you are not in the old South Africa anymore! This is the New South Africa! Your media is no longer controlled and presented by your own people anymore”! Another nation controls and runs your media.
That proud feeling I had in the past when I heard the name of a high ranking South African is gone! Gone for ever!
Even the name “South Africa” does not make me feel excited anymore. I am not proud to be South African anymore. The name “South Africa” starts to sound foreign to me. It is as if everything South African suddenly became something strange. It has just become a geographical location in a globalised hell hole.
All the bad news of today, replaced the good news of yesterday. Those things in the past that made one proud to be South African, are gone.
A news report from of yesterday (11 June 2018) was the proverbial “last straw that breaks the camels back“. Riebeek-Kasteel is a small village in the Swartland. It lies about 70km from Cape Town. A very Afrikaans community in the south western part of our once beautiful country.
It is as if this news – of an attack on the innocent lives of a humble community in the centre of an Afrikaner community – finally destroyed all my hopes for a prosperous Afrikaner future.
It happens not only in the far border areas of our country – there where one can expect racial problems – no, it moved to the centre of our Afrikaner homeland. A final blow in the heart of a nation.
It feels unreal not to be a South African anymore. It feels unfair not to be part of this beautiful country. It feels as if you are robbed of everything that once belonged to you. Robbed of not only your belongings, but your thoughts, your future and even your past.
Our country has died! Finances, health, politics, law, education, agriculture, sport, all gone!
Is that feeling only temporary, or is it gone for ever? And for those that have “adjusted”, how much have they not lost or betrayed?
(Ek skryf hierdie brief in Engels, sodat al my oorsese kontakte dit kan verstaan).